So yeah, what do you need to know? I'm Conrad bloody Keely, I'm your most boring nightmare, you can't wait to wake up from me and make some coffee and go about your life.

So yeah, this is my art website, and it's all really groovy, man, yeah, super mellow, dig it. Patterns, colors, wisdom. Peace.

I began drawing around the age of three, my mother sometimes lies and tells me I was two. This was during the war, there was very little food, and most of it was rationed cans of Spam. In order to pay the rent, my parents sent me out on the streets to beg, and there I began to draw what I saw around me, the poverty, the depression. I drew the shape of changing America, and I drew the animals, that came out from the jungle and made off with other children from our village. It was a happy childhood, it made me the artist that I am.

Now I live in New York, still during the war. Not much has changed really, we still eat a lot of Spam from cans. I still enjoy drawing the animals that come out of the jungle and eat children; only now the animals are all endangered, and they have a sad, defeated look about them, which sort of makes you want to hunt them even more.

As an artist I consider myself more of a humorist. If you aren't able to see what's funny about my art, then you're probably a boring person, in which case don't even bother yourself with art, stick with politics and music journalism. If you want to get into art, you have to laugh, you have to see the absurd in everything, you have to accept the will of heaven, and understand the little bits of beauty in a whole lot of ugly which is the internet.

Also as an artist I'm able to get away with pretty much anything. I can even get away with not decorating this page if I want to. As an American resident, however, I can't get away with as much. So I might have to put a heading on the page that says "Biography", in which case that is what you will be reading this text under.

More about Conrad, but not a whole lot more, can be found at Wikipedia.

©  Conrad Keely 2010